Do not plant your dreams in the field of indecision, where nothing ever grows except the weeds of ‘What-if’. – Dodinsky
Yes, I’m being indecisive (again), about homeschooling (again). Actually, you know what? No I’m not. Yes, a few things have made me waver recently but I am so damn bored of the same conversation I’m having with myself again, and again, and again that I’m done with the thinking, the to-ing, the fro-ing, the worrying. It just needs to be done and tried and then regardless of how well it goes way we can all move on. You’d think, wouldn’t you, that when your child’s school monumentally fails their Ofsted on every marker, this might help galvanise a decision on a mind all but made up. Weirdly the opposite has been true. The truly awesome new SENCO/AENCO is now going to be a permanent fixture as the Academy Trust she works for has taken on our ‘failing’ school (Did you know that any school now categorised as being in ‘special measures’ will be automatically academised? Interesting…). This means that she’ll still be there, and on my side, in September as Boy1 enters yr2. It also means that the school will probably pick itself up and dust itself down and go on to become a great little school again. So these things combined have caused the wobble in my thinking. That coupled with the fact that he really doesn’t seem too stressed about going to school at the moment. Why bother with the upheaval if things are moving in the right direction? But then I stop and think about what the definition of a ‘great little school’ is, in the eyes of the DfE and Ofsted? One that pushes, from the first day to the last to get the results, teaching children to pass standardised tests, teaching them a bunch of facts, rather than allowing them to learn by thinking for themselves. And then I consider, once again, how my boy with his way of seeing the world might struggle in this environment and I’ve come right back to where I started. Autonomous learning at home has to be the best thing for him. The concerns are all around what might be best for me but, if I don’t do what’s right for him then I sell myself short anyway.
Today may have seen a return of the wet, cold and downright miserable weather but yesterday was really rather lovely and we took advantage and got out and about. We walked and talked, paddled in the river, squelched in the mud, and made a rope swing. It was all good.